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Sunday, September 09, 20079/09/2007 01:50:00 AM
i decided i shld revive my blog nw since i couldnt do what i wanna n need to do as dad is back home early not knowing the reason. and im exciting for tmr service! although i am there, but i couldnt really fully focus as i was at the back of the stage. so tmr i am so going to focus as i will be sitting at the congretation. EXCITING!! and this few days, God has really been pushing my buttons, showing me places where i needa change, the ugly side of me. Pastor once shared that when you have unhappiness and hatred of someone, even you may forget about or forgive the person physically, but eventually the unhappiness will still be inside your heart. and when the person do something that make you feel unhappiness again, you will starting recalling the old debts and place all of them together with him and you will eventually burst off. n yes, I DID! i bursted as i couldnt take it anymore. not on that person but to myself. n the thing is that the person din even knw i have been having many unhappiness on him n angry tt day. haha. and i eventually cried until very jialat as i was really angry on tt person n to myself. n i started remember what pastor has preached and i started to see this unseem n ugly side of me. God has really been pushing those buttons of mine, not only to these but others too. He wants me to change to a better person by showing n reveals all these to me. and yesh! i am gonna change! Lord, Change me to a better person. Change me to a person that is more like you and have a heart like Yours! |
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