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Tuesday, December 12, 200612/12/2006 08:47:00 PM
im here!! hahs.. miss my bloggin?? lol.. bt this post is kinda a sad one.. =) im worryin!! realli realli worryin that one day i wun be able to hang on. i so wantin tu hang on bt i scare, i so afraid that one day, i ll jus fall. no more strength tu hang on. im so worry. y does i hav such lil faith? y cant i jus believe n trust Him that tings gonna be fine? y mus i kip worryin wad ll goin tu happen next? e feelin is jus so bad u know. felt like tearin everytime i tink abt it. in the family, oni u is standin on tt side n the rest is standin on the opposing side. e whole family is opposing u! nt oni my parents bt all my sisters even jasmine too n my sister's husband n boyfriend. the feelin is so bad especially in such a big family. gonna face them everyday. listen tu their objection n naggin everyday. so many tings a day. realli wry that one day i couldnt stand it. now the situation is real bad. oni a few koe wad my dad said tu mi on sun nite. now i hav tu face so many probs, financial prob, PO, n alot more. hopefully wad i left in my bank is able to help mi for the followin months. i hav been tinkin of whther i shld go back tu hallmark n work for these few days as i hav rejected them alot of tymes until sharon said, "u no longer wrkin le ah?" n oso i nid financial help. bt i was telling myself nt tu, as i wan tu serve Him everyday. as situation went bad, i even hav the tinkin of jus wrkin on mon. bt tt nt wad i wan. i jus wan tu spend all my time for Him. bt if one day, there realli no choice. i might go wrk. bt i wun sell Him away for 5bucks an hr. He is priceless, too valuable until we could nt name a price. n nw i savin money like crazy. tryin tu hav oni one meals a day if possible. n i succeeded today. hahs. bt dun wry, i ll nt starve myself. =) i will still eat de if i hungry. n ytd is the worst man. everybody at home. lucky hweeyee is here at my home tu acc me until 11pm. bt after hweeyee left, mum n dajie starts sayin things again. they said abt all e bad experience frm those ppl they koe. my dajie said one of her fren oso go church everyday tu dance n perform n said she is crazy. we go church everyday is nt becos we r crazy bt we wan tu do thing n serve Him. n mum oso said about those christian ppl she koe r so bad. bt those ppl she koe r jus so different from hoGc ppl. n my dajie even said, all religion r bad cept buddhist. she is crazycrazycrazy!! she dun hav a good character too n she said buddhist "ptin herself" is good. unlogical!! n mum also told me that my dad din slp at all on sun night becos he was wryin for me. although he scolded, said many hurtful tings, n everyting, bt it is all becos he is wryin abt me. i was realli shocked n many feelings jus came tu me when i heard it. he is wryin tt i might be cheated all these. bt i can gurrantee him hoGc is totally different. i so wantin tu bring him come one day n see it himself. so wantin tu ask him go with mi tu church n see himself when he start naggin. bt i wryin tt he might go there make troubles too after he koe tt place. no matter hw hard it might be, i will still fight for a way n finish this race. i will!! i will!! when there seems to be no way, God ll open a way for me. He will!! He will!! i love Him n i wun fall!! i wun!! i wun!! btw.. i wan tu thank alot alot of ppl!! C2!! Nick, thks for being there so late at night n encouragin mi n sharin with mi all things. thks for everyting. loves. Zach, thks for being there n teachin mi so mani things n kip encouragin mi in msn. thks alot man. loves. Koon, thks bro for kip wantin tu help mi in my finance, kip wantin tu treat mi tis n tt. thks for being there. i so touched! n i koe both of us can do it! lets hang on!! loves. Funny, thks for that hug on sun. i nid it jus on time. sry for makin ur hair n jacket wet. hahs. n thks for the composing the song man n smses too! loves. Stella, hahs. when i come tu ur name, i duno wad tu say. lol. thks for all! hee. loves. Spoon, thks for offering a help in my finance. it is the thoughts tt counts. hee. n thks for teachin mi tings too. loves. JingHong, thks for prayin for me n being there. love you too. basically for the whole C2, i heart everyone of you. thks all of you for being there for mi, prayin, helpin, encouragin, teachin, everytings. thks for all. loves everyone of u! n one more, piggyyee, thks for lendin ur hse tu be my hiding place. hahs. thks pig for all. loves. |
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